Networking, Selling or Listening

It has always been very important to me to help out as many people I can; for it was those who helped me that got me to where I am today. Recently, a business contact of mine asked me to help out a young man who just moved to Saint Louis. He was looking for networking opportunities and business contacts. The young man was very professional, brought his partner/mentor with him and spent the whole meeting selling to me–not getting to know me. I listened, smiled and nodded for about two hours.

After it was over, I started to think what insight I would provide this man if he had asked. What gems of knowledge could I share that would have taken his career to the next level? The answer I came up with is know what type of meeting you are walking into.

There are three types of meetings: ones you sell, ones you network and ones that you listen. The ones you sell are meetings where the person is very interested in your product, has a need or is someone who is not networking material. You network in meetings where the individual is a great networker and has networks that you would like to be introduced to. Networking, or get to know you meetings, are also the ones where you are meeting a “Golden Goose”. If you do not know the concept of the Golden Geese versus the Golden Egg, I would be more then happy to share it with anyone who reaches out. The meetings that you just listen are the ones when the person mostly talks about their business, referrals they want or selling you their product. It is best, in that case, to just listen; for they will believe the meeting went well even if it did not. Also, the people who talk only about themselves, not asking about your business at all, will not listen to others and are therefore not good referral sources. You have to listen to be able to refer.

During the meeting, it is important to feel the meeting out and adjust as necessary. A networking might turn into a sell. A networking might turn into a listening. You just have to feel it out. As we can all agree, time is money. What you need to do is find the best bang for your time. If you sell your products in a networking meeting, you are most likely to lose that network. If you network in a sales meeting, you are going to lose the sale. It is all about paying attention.

In short, the key to great, productive meetings is to know what type of meeting you are walking into and what you want to get out of it. Then during the meeting, adjust as necessary and don’t force the meeting to be something it is not. After the meeting is over with, decide if it is worth meeting again and your plan of attack to make that the meeting is the most it can be.

Would he have taken that advice and excelled? I am not sure. Since he did not ask or take me up on my offer to help him, we will never know. I learned a long time ago that you can offer help to someone, but you can not make them take it.

It makes me wonder what advice I missed over the years or if there was someone who I should have picked their brain–those little what-ifs and little pieces of advice we did not take or listen to. What missed opportunities have you had over the years? What piece of advice do you wish you had taken? And what would you do if you could redo a meeting again? These are all good questions to ask, especially as we move into a new year, new habits and new ways of thinking about things.

By Rachel Boone